Hanging up the Hat

“It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.” –Jo Rowling

15th May 2015

I picked up the stack of old notebooks and papers to put it aside. I wouldn’t need them anymore. But I couldn’t quite do that right away. I wanted to look at them one last time. No, I am not a studious person, but I do have a high regard for things of sentiment. I riffled though a few of the pages; memories rushed into my head faster than thought. Pages strewn with emoticons here and tic-tac-toe games there and unworthy sketches just lay on my knees staring back at me. Four best years of my life filled with happiness and emotions, GONE, and here was the testament of it all, right in front of me, reminiscent of the exam weeks that were a more enjoyable agenda for me than was advisable, because of the way we assaulted the syllabus, putting our heads together in search of abbreviations and short-cuts to memorise it all on the last night before the exam. And so were some other things. Every object gave me a fond memory as I packed them away. They gave me happiness and a longing uneasiness at the same time. It was like watching the last episode of my favourite TV show with the only exception of not being able to watch it all over again.

There is no denying that tomorrow would be the most special day of my life so far. Maybe even the most important. The anticipation that has been building up to this day for the past four years has become rather huge and now when I stand facing it, it seems I’d be leaving behind a lot more than I had expected and I’m not sure if I am ready for this. A part of me would be lost forever and I know I’ll be dying to get it back unsuccessfully. And I silently wish that I had made more than I did with the time that I had.

Sourav Sen

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